Yesterday I posted the above picture to Facebook with the caption:
The Murphy Family 8.0. Coming in 2016!
#thismomsgonnaneedlotsofgraceandlotsofcoffee #adoptionrocks #andsodobabies
And that was it. No real explanations. In some ways, I did want people to stare at the picture and attempt to figure it out. I was trying to be slightly creative. But, I did want to share further details, for anyone who did not wade through the comments and read my replies to questions.
So here are the details:
- As you all remember, we are adopting the cutest little two year old boy, Thomas Joseph, or TJ. We expect him to be home late February or early March.
- We are also having a baby! I am right around 17 weeks pregnant, due May 9, 2016
- Because I am
old of advanced maternal age, there are some pretty amazing tests they can do, simply by taking my blood, that can tell, with around 95% accuracy, if the baby has any genetic disorders, etc. This blood test can also tell you the sex of the baby. We are having a girl! We have known for weeks now.
- If all goes well, Thomas will be home just 2-3 months before the baby is born.
- When the baby is born, we will have a 12 year old, a 9 year old, an 8 year old, a 3 year old, a newly adopted 2.5 year old, and a baby. Crazy
- For those of you who like math and numbers: The number of children in our family will go from 3 (a number held for 7 years) to 6 in the span of 18 months. Sigh, breathe deep, Katie.
- Other crazy facts: we will no longer fit in our new-to-us van. I got rid of baby items and clothing a long time ago, so we have nothing for the baby. And keeping with that theme, when we were matched with Felicity, I got rid of all of our young boy clothes . . . as of now, TJ has no clothes either!
Head spinning? Do not worry, mine kept spinning for about a month. There are still moments I wonder if this is all real or I am somehow imagining it all. I have seen our daughter twice on ultrasound, I feel her move and I no longer fit in my normal clothes, but somehow, some days, I still wonder if, in 2016, we will really have TJ and a baby. I think I can totally understand those women who somehow are in denial that they are pregnant, until they actually give birth!
So, in case you have not figured out from the above information, to say that this is all a surprise, is an understatement. I am a planner, by nature. Thomas was not really in "my plan." I figured we would wait a little, adopt a girl later on and be done. But God had other, much more wild, beautiful plans. And we are certainly not crazy enough to plan a baby and an adoption at the same time. I often wonder if I, if we, the whole family, can handle all the changes that are to come. And one of the days, I was knee deep in fear, feeling this way, I read this quote:
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle.
I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." - Mother Teresa
And I knew. God has got this. He will give us the strength we need to help TJ attach to us and meld into our family and have a baby too. I know it will not be easy. But, God doesn't always call us to easy. It may not be easy, but it will be beautiful.
The last few months have had some tough moments. We thought we might lose Thomas. It really looked like we would have to stop the adoption and I was devastated. But, God moved mountains and made a miracle happen. I have cried many tears because I will not be able to travel to China to get TJ, but my joy that he is coming home far surpasses my sadness because I will miss Gotcha Day. Our agency has been amazing to us. We are already talking with our social worker about what to do when Thomas comes home and how to help him and Felicity to adjust to the changes in our family and how to help the boys not feel lost in the shuffle.
Aside from the stress of the possible changes in our adoption, I have physically been feeling pretty good. I am tired more than normal, but overall I am feeling much better than anticipated.
Finally, we are all excited. The boys are thrilled and cannot wait until TJ comes home and we have the baby! Andrew, my youngest boy, cannot wait to see a baby be "borned" (as he says). Two out of three of the boys are so happy to have another sister. One boy is now pushing for a 12 passenger van.
As our family navigates the upcoming months, please keep us in your prayers. Especially, these specific prayer requests:
- That I continue to have a healthy pregnancy with no complications or health issues.
- That Thomas comes home ASAP and also has no health complications and that his heart is healthy.
- That our adoption will be fully funded. (Due to first trimester sickness, etc, I have not been able to complete most of the grant applications we had intended to do. Nor have we done most of the fundraisers we had planned. We have a short span of time to come up with the rest of the money for the adoption, approx $15,000. Please pray we are able to do so.)
Thank you all for sharing in our joy and excitement!