We have been home two months. It seems like a long time, yet it seems so little. We are still attempting to find a new normal, and are just not quite there yet. After three weeks off from tutorial, all of the boys started back to homeschooling this week. Homeschooling is not quite as easy with our "toddler tornado" around, but we are making it work the best we can.
Felicity continues to do well. She is attaching to us, bonding with her brothers and is happiest when everyone is home together. The process of her melding into our family is much like dancing. Some days are two steps forward, one step back. Other days it is a step forward and two steps back. I have never been good at dancing, but I am letting God and Felcity lead. The dance is beautiful and we are moving forward.
Each day we get to see more of her personality. And it is a BIG, STRONG personality. I look at the pictures of her from her first day with us . . .
|Gotcha Day - October 2014|
The hardest moments come at night. She still does not sleep well, preferring to always be touching me, even if it is with just her foot. Night time is clearly the time when she grieves and releases stress from the day. Our poor little girl will often cry at night in a way none of my boys have done. The first few times it happened, we figured it was something she ate. But now, after two months home, we can tell there is something deeper than indigestion going on. We just hold her and love her through it the best we can.
I love our little girl fiercely. While I know it is not always the case with adopted children, my love and bond for her was strong from the moment she was placed in my arms. She is my daughter and I love her no differently than my sons that I gave birth to. Just the other week, Caleb, even said, "Mom, is it strange that I think Felicity looks like us?" I chuckled. She looks nothing like us, but Caleb's sentiment was felt. She is a part of us, no matter where she started from, she has been knitted into our family and something would be missing if she were not here.
These two months with her have been profound in many ways. God has used this time to teach me so much about His love, grace and redemption. There are moments I just want to pour those words out over the keyboard and hit publish, but more often than not, my hands are filled with the little girl that has been the avenue through which God is growing and molding me.
I am off to enjoy the giggles of my daughter, who should be sleeping, but is not. Please continue to pray for us! Pray, too, for Felicity, especially. She will be having surgery next week to repair her palate. Pray for a quick and speedy recovery.