The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. 1Kings 19:11-13
I often look to this scripture when I want a sign from God. I am one of those ones who would love the clouds to part and to hear the big booming voice from the sky say, "This is the way, walk in it." Yet, at no time in my life have I had that happen. I try to remember God is in the gentle whisper. And that is how He showed up in our adoption story once again.
Although we were certain that we would accept this little girl into our family, I still was looking of a big sign. It did feel right, but I guess I just wanted a little more certainty. On the Friday before we accepted her referral, I was meeting with my spiritual director, lamenting the fact that I had no big sign from God. We joked about it for a second or two and then I remember mumbling this scripture under my breath. Look for Him in the gentle whisper, Katie.
The day after we accepted this little girl's referral, we sat down after dinner for a family discussion. It was time to choose a name. We had talked about names for days, but none seemed right. I knew I wanted Grace in her name; it was only fitting as it has been Grace that has carried us thus far, but we were not really sure on a first name. Elizabeth? We have always liked that name. Therese? St. Therese has been a saint that we have relied on for intercession during our process. Mary? Nothing seemed right.
Luckily, I had found this great list of girls' names, the saint behind the name, the feast day, and the meaning of the name. I want a name with a strong meaning. Choosing a meaningful name can speak into the child's life. As I scrolled through the list, I saw the name Amanda and I was taken by it. I thought we just might have her name. It means Worthy of Love, and what better meaning to speak into this little girl's life. We continued to talk as I scrolled down, reading off other names here and there.
And then I stopped. And I started to tear up a bit. The name Felicity. Oh, I forgot I have always loved that name and its meaning. I love martyred saints and I think it is pretty cool that Felicity is in the Eucharistic prayer at mass too. But, all of those things are not what caused the tears to flow.
Pete looked at me and asked what was wrong.
"St. Felicity's Feast day is March 7th," I responded. "It is the day that our little girl was found."
Joshua looked at me and said, "Well, that's her name."
Her name, Felicity Grace, and how it came about was God's gentle whisper to me. In that moment I knew. Yes, she is our daughter. And it amazed me too, because God showed me that He knows my heart so much better than I do. He knew that so many years ago I prayed to have a little girl that I could name Felicity, and here she is. He is fulfilling a promise, a desire that I forgot long ago and never even considered in this process. He is so faithful!
And so, I am so excited to introduce you all to Felicity Grace,