Tuesday, August 27, 2013
When it rains
It was our first full day of vacation. It was a rainy day. It ended up being the ONLY rainy day for the whole ten days we were on Cape Cod. We decided to go to the next town over and do some shopping. While maneuvering the streets, my hubby, who was driving, decided to put the windows down a crack. The front window was getting foggy and he just wanted some fresh air. As my window, the passenger window, went down, there came a loud sound and the window completely disappeared into the door. Broken. There was no way to get the window up. Right about then, it started to pour. 20 min from where we were staying.
And I got wet. Very wet.
As my hubby and I looked at each other, we knew. We knew exactly what was going on . . .
And I was warned things like this would happen. The very first talk I went to at Created for Care, I went to the "Fundraising for your Adoption" talk. And the one of the first things the presenter said, "Prepare for a spiritual battle." She went on to share, how both times they adopted, her husband lost his job during the process. My only thought in that moment was, "Oh, dear Lord, PLEASE do not let my hubby lose his job while we are adopting!"
I did not really consider what else may come . . .
Little annoyances like our window breaking in a rain storm have come. A lot. We are in the midst of a weird cold/croup thing. We are going on its third week. Night after night I got up with the boys to comfort them. Now they are sleeping through the night and I am the one coughing till 4AM. I am tired and worn out. The last thing I want to do is adoption paperwork right now. I want to curl up with a hot cup of tea and watch an insane amount of romantic comedies or BBC Jane Austen movies. But, we complete the paperwork . . .
And then there have been big crosses in this process too. One too serious for this space to mention. And when it came, I thought, of all the times this could have happened . . . why now?
But, mostly the battle comes in the quiet moments of the day. When my boys are acting up and the lie comes, "Can you really handle an adopted child?" Or, when my own sinfulness is exploited and I clean the bathroom and see the peeling wallpaper under the sink, and he whispers the lie, "If only you weren't adopting. You could redo the bathroom." Or a house comes on the market that fits all of our requirements and is in a great neighborhood and just serves as one big distraction from the one thing we know God is calling us to. Satan is sly.
All of these things have come and have made me question just what are we doing. There have been moments that the only thing I can do is search for HIS voice and know we just need to press on. And sometimes, I just want to shake my fist and say, "You will not derail us! You have lost the war, Satan, and this is one battle you will NOT win." God has a special heart for the orphans and the widows. Scripture tells us that. And when we engage in caring for the orphans, we are working to gain souls for Christ. So, of course the spiritual battles will come. And I know I am not the only one that feels this way. Just google "adoption and spiritual warfare" and pages of blog posts from others, who have gone through the process and felt exactly as I do, will come up.
So, please pray for us! So that as the rain continues to come, we can see past it all to the flowers that will be born from it.