Friday, May 10, 2013

The Journey to Yes: Part II

You know, after the comments on Part I, I am feeling a bit of pressure . . . I hate to say this, but this may be bit of a disappointment after the build up . . . because,you see, God did not move big, He did not move fast, it was more of a gentle breeze, a quiet coaxing . . .

2013 began and I was looking for a BIG sign.  Both hubby and I were in the same place.  We were both ready to say YES to adoption. Yet. Yet, I felt God saying WAIT.  No movement.  I got signs that God heard my prayers and that HE was urging me to just continue to pray. There were times I was frustrated with it, but mostly I was at peace.

I knew, in my heart, it would happen.  I just did not know when.

But, in all my humanness, I was trying to figure it out.  Trying to figure why we needed to wait.  And one thing was clear . . we had no idea what agency we would use when the time came.  And, I am not sure why this became so important to me.  There are, after all, MANY good, quality agencies.  Yet, it seemed essential that we choose the right one.  The God ordained one. The one that would cover the whole process in prayer.  That would be praying for us and for the child.  The one, that on the day the referral call would come, may say something like, "We have been praying and believe that this is your child."

Created for Care.  That was it.  That was where I would get "the answers".  The green light.  I was convinced that God would move mightily.  The heavens would open and a loud voice would come down from the skies while I was at, of course, an adoption retreat.  The first day there, I searched.  Searched for an answer . . .  the big bright sign with the answer must be around the next corner.  But it wasn't.  The weekend was powerful, moving, amazing.  But the only thing that got confirmed that weekend was to WAIT.  During my "Date with God", I asked one of the prayer team members to pray over me.  I spilled out all my thoughts and feelings, wanting to move, God saying to wait.  As she prayed over me, she confirmed that I was hearing God correctly, and that HE would see it to completion.

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Phillipians 1:6

January and February passed with no real answers. Lent came, and Holy Week was here.  I thought, what a nice Easter gift . . .

But it did not happen. At this point, we were pouring over agency information.  We had settled between two agencies.  One had my heart, the otherr my head.  It really came down to this.  We could not move until we knew which agency GOD wanted. After months, years really, of prayers, I was not really sure exactly how to know God's will on this one.

So I prayed a novena.  St. Therese of the Little Flower novena.  It seemed perfect.  Ask the Saint to whom Little Flower Projects was named for, for her intercession.  But, honestly, I had my doubts.  If any of you have been in Catholic cricles long enough, you have heard the amazing stories that involve this novena.  Yet, I have prayed this novena several times, and no roses showed up on my door step. I started it anyways . . .

And I prayed it for nine days.  And on the tenth day  . . .  nothing.

I had given up getting an answer anytime soon. 

About a week later, the boys I were at Trader Joes.  I love their, cheap, beautiful flower bouquets.  And as I looked, they had bunches with beautiful mini roses in them.  I was asking the boys which to pick, in hopes to trick them into giving me an answer to my novena (Yes, I was really thinking that).  But, it did not seem to work, so I just put the bouquets down and I asked the boys to pick another one . . .
 
A pretty bouquet with little pink roses . . . not one of the right colors. Oh, well, at least they will look pretty in our kitchen.
 
But, then I got them home.  And was surprised . . .
 




Tucked in between all the other flowers was one I did not see before.  One, big, beautiful white rose.  I knew it was HIS answer.  Life Line Children Services was our agency.  It was time to move forward.

And here we are today, filling out paper work.  I do not like paper work, but I keep thinking, there is a child in China that does not like being an orphan more than my dislike of paper work, so I fill out line by line.

I see HIS wisdom now in His delay.  I feel like the wait made me grow up a little more.  I have a healthy fear of adoption, and I think that that is good.  The rose colored glasses were taken off quite a while ago, and, yes, the call to adoption has only gotten stronger. 

And, so we are on a crazy, roller coaster ride, of adopting a special needs child from China.  We have no idea who the child is or the special needs he may have (Yes, we will, most likely adopt a boy!).  So, please pray for us, for the child God will bring to our family, and for his/her birth parents.

7 comments:

  1. It's all just so exciting. So so exciting.

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  2. Oh, sister Katie, if I can help guide you through any of the process or even listen when you need to vent, please please allow me to help! It would be my pleasure!! So happy that you waited for HIS perfect timing! You will not be sorry, I'm promise!!! And so does HE!!!

    Love,
    Lisa Murphy

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  3. praying for you! (thanks for sharing your story!)

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  4. What a beautiful story! So very excited for you to move forward and closer to your next child!

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  5. Love you and your family's openess to life!

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