(I started writing this post months ago, but have not had time to refine it and finish it. I have felt the need to hit "publish" lately though. Maybe it is because Hope is too quickly approaching 12 months old and my desire to share it's sentiments would be lost soon. Or maybe it is because this week is the March for Life and the sacredness of life is before me in a precious little girl and I want to remember that, in words, here. But whatever the reason, here is our story of seeking God's will and and being open to life.)
Shortlyafter we announced that we wereexpectingbaby Hope, I felt that I needed to
share ourNFPstory. Partially, it was because
we had so many people say thingslike, "What a
miracle!" or share stories of how people they knew were infertile, adopted
and then had a baby of their own, thatI feltthat many people probably got the
wrong idea about why we had three boys, waited a while and adopted and then
found out we were expecting a baby wh…
So, by the time Andrew was 18 months old, we knew God was
saying no to having more children at the time.
And, as mentioned before, He provided so much peace about it, that we
knew we had discerned correctly. Yet,
even with that peace, I had to mourn the fact the we might not ever have any
more children. Yes, we were still open
to life, of course, but from the time after Andrew’s birth, until today, we
practiced NFP faithfully to avoid pregnancy.
And it took time to accept that we might not have any more
children. There were times when I would
hold a friend’s new born baby and then go home and cry because I knew I might
not ever know the joy of holding my own baby again. We live in a community where life is
celebrated and families are large.
Usually more than one friend is pregnant at a time. In those early days, each pregnancy
announcement was met with great joy for the friend, but often left me with an
empty feeling. I understood, in many
She was born on a Tuesday during Primary season of the presidential election. Once settled into my room, I remember the TV being on and the news was all about secured presidential nominations. The following morning, I scrolled through my Facebook feed and there was a great deal of incredulity. Despair and hopelessness even. I quickly turned away from it and struggled to get out of the bed, to begin my c-section recovery. I had a precious little baby, Hope, to take care of after all. I couldn't get swept up in the emotions of the what is going on in our nation, in the upcoming election.
And since Hope's birth, there have been many crazy, hard to believe, tragic events. And during that time, my main focus has been on this precious life, on Hope. It has been amazing how focused I have been on Hope and my job as her mother.
I need to nurse Hope.
Help Hope grow.
I need to hold on to Hope.
As I heard the news about the tragedy in Orlando, I was…