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I am just not ready yet

Today is the March for Life . I really wanted to go, but there are a few reasons I did not. First, I would be going by myself. My husband is probably still helping to pack up from the Mass and Rally for Life. I would not have minded going down by myself, or with our parish. The boys are generally good and with a double stroller and a carrier for A, I could keep them well contained. Plus, I am sure I would run into several people I know that would be willing to give a helping hand.

Yes, it would have been cold, but the boys could have blankets on their laps and A would have been snug in a carrier, surrounded by my coat.

So, what is the real reason I did not go?

I am just not ready yet.

I am just not ready yet to shatter Joshua's belief that all mommies want the babies that are growing "in their tummies." I am not ready to shatter that innocence. It is too beautiful to shatter yet.

He is too inquisitive to not ask questions. And I know the questions would have come. "What do those signs say Mom?" "Why does that sign have a baby on it, Mom?" "What is Abortion, Mom?"

Several months ago our parish had the crosses outside on the lawn to indicate how many babies are aborted every hour in the US. Our pastor gave a homily on it that Sunday. It was a great homily and he is so good at choosing his words carefully. I think he does it because he knows there are alot of families with young children. On the car ride home, J, who was at mass, asked about the crosses and what our pastor had said. I just explained that the crosses represented all the babies that die "in their mommy's tummy." J looked at me and said "Those mommies must be so sad." I asked him why and he said "Because all mommies want their babies." I started to tear up. Little did he know the truth about why those babies died.

At some point I will talk to him about abortion and explain it to him. He will need to know at some point. But, I am just not ready yet . . . .

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