While in Williamsburg last week, we met a great family. After seeing them at Colonial Williamsburg for three days, Pete wanted to get a photo of our two boys, who were dressed in Colonial garb, with their three kids, who were also dressed up. After the photo was taken, the mom, out of the blue asked if we homeschool. I thought it was a little strange that she ask. She did not know us, and Joshua does not necessarily look like he is of school age yet. But she asked anyways and I answered "Yes." She smiled and made some comment on how she thought so because homeschoolers "look alike."
Anyways, we talked for a while and the kids played together. Her kids were 13, 11 and 9, so she had a great deal more experience than I. She readily gave advice, which was great to hear (maybe I will share in another post). Pete, who is much better at asking questions than I am, asked if there was any website, blog etc she recommended. She said the Familyman. She then mentioned that the Familyman, Todd Wilson, had written a great book called Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe . She said it was great, funny and true!!
So, when we got home, I popped online and ordered it. It came in the mail yesterday and, now, I am about 1/2 way through it. It is a short book and a quick read. It is very good. It verbalizes all of the fears, the lies, I often believe about myself, homeschooling, and others. He goes through several lies that homeschooling moms fall prey to. He also mentions that it is important to be REAL to yourself and to others about your house, your homeschooling, and yourself.
Now, I am not one, usually, for self disclosure (Right now you are probably wondering, how can that be, she does have a BLOG). I have never been. But, to be REAL, one Lie in the book stood out for me today. And it was: You are falling apart and you feel everyone else has got it together.
Since baby A has been born (6 months), I have not gotten a good night sleep. He wakes up about 3 times a night and nurses every time. I stumble out of bed when Caleb comes in the bedroom demanding breakfast, and I am not usually functional until 15 min after I have finished my cup of coffee. I look in the mirror and notice I look exhausted. I hope no one else notices, but they probably do. When I go out in public with the boys, I think I look like I am falling apart . . . K and J usually getting into something and baby A is strapped to me in a carrier. My lack of sleep affects my desire to exercise, pray, clean the house, make dinner, homeschool . . . yes, this list could go on and on. So the house is messy and school lessons are sometimes as simple as me quizzing Joshua on his math as I get ready for the day and sitting in front of the refrigerator with the Leapfrog Wordwhammer!!
The perfectionist in me HATES this! Yet, I think this is all a part of God's plan. When Pete and I decided to homeschool, we had a list of reasons why we believed it would be better for Joshua. I still believe it is better for him, but I was not quite expecting the growth process it has started in me. So maybe the exhaustion, the messiness, etc is all a part of His plan, so that I can let go of my own unrealistic expectations and just allow this year to unfold as He wants it to.