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Settling In

I find it ironic that the last post I posted was about our move that did not happen and how God wanted me to be moldable.  When I typed those words and prayed those words, "God make me moldable," "Move to Wisconsin" was NOT what I was envisioning.  But, sometimes God's will is surprising and unexpected.

So, here we are.  18 days as Wisconsinites.  So many people have called and texted, asking me how we are doing and I often find my words fall short.  I am better at reflecting and writing out my thoughts, so this is for all those who have asked and are wondering . . .


We are doing well.  The move has felt very natural in so many ways.  It feels comfortable here. I haven't felt out of place or a "fish out of water" here at all. The kids all like it here.  Some miss their friends tremendously, which is expected.  One of my "littles" has shown some regression, also expected, but everyone is adjusting so well to the new house and neighborhood. …
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My verse for the year

But now, O LORD, You are our Father, We are the clay, and You our potter; And all of us are the work of Your hand.   Isaiah 6:48


There are boxes being unpacked in our home.  Boxes packed and meant to be unpacked in a different home, our new home, in a matter of two weeks.  


About two weeks before Christmas things changed.  Situations changed.  And what we were convinced was God's will just months before, seemed so unlike it now.  Things beyond our control happened and suddenly we were praying and we felt that the best and only solution was to walk away from this new house.  And at the end of  a week of uncertainty, anxiety and tension, once the decision was made to walk away from the house, there was a great deal of peace.   But, as the dust settles from the decision, even though we know it is the best for everyone involved, there is still sadness, still this sense of loss.  As we have prayed again and again, we know each of all of the steps we have made in this whole house journey …

The Gift (Our NFP story) Part 2

(You can read  Part 1 here

     So, by the time Andrew was 18 months old, we knew God was saying no to having more children at the time.  And, as mentioned before, He provided so much peace about it, that we knew we had discerned correctly.  Yet, even with that peace, I had to mourn the fact the we might not ever have any more children.  Yes, we were still open to life, of course, but from the time after Andrew’s birth, until today, we practiced NFP faithfully to avoid pregnancy.  And it took time to accept that we might not have any more children.  There were times when I would hold a friend’s new born baby and then go home and cry because I knew I might not ever know the joy of holding my own baby again.  We live in a community where life is celebrated and families are large.  Usually more than one friend is pregnant at a time.  In those early days, each pregnancy announcement was met with great joy for the friend, but often left me with an empty feeling.  I understood, in many way…

The Gift (Our NFP story) Part I

(I started writing this post months ago, but have not had time to refine it and finish it.  I have felt the need to hit "publish" lately though.  Maybe it is because Hope is too quickly approaching 12 months old and my desire to share it's sentiments would be lost soon. Or maybe it is because this week is the March for Life and the sacredness of life is before me in a precious little girl and I want to remember that, in words, here.  But whatever the reason, here is our story of seeking God's will and and being open to life.)

Shortlyafter we announced that we wereexpectingbaby Hope, I felt that I needed to share ourNFPstory.  Partially, it was because we had so many people say thingslike, "What a miracle!" or share stories of how people they knew were infertile, adopted and then had a baby of their own, thatI feltthat many people probably got the wrong idea about why we had three boys, waited a while and adopted and then found out we were expecting a baby wh…

Monday Daybook

Outside my window . . . .

It is a beautiful sunny day! It is windy and cold too, but the colors outside my window just cannot be beat.

I plan to . . . 


Well, I HAD planned to go to mass today.  But after dropping the boys off at their tutorial and then coming home to get Thomas dressed for mass (he is the only one that I cannot seem to get out of his pajamas in time), I could not find a pair of shoes for him!  I found three of his shoes. Three different shoes and I was fully prepared to take him to mass with two different shoes on (all pride is gone), but there was only one problem. Every single shoe I found was for the right foot!! So, somewhere in our house, or in one of the vans, are three left shoes.  Pray I find them otherwise he will have to start wearing his sister's shoes!


I am thinking . . . .

Too much really.  I am thinking about one of my sons who struggles with school.  He is the sweetest boy ever and it breaks my heart that, when it comes to school, not much of it comes ea…

Two Years Ago . . .

Two years ago today, I was on the other side of the world.  I woke up too early.  Too excited and anxious to sleep.  My husband and I lay in bed, chatting about the day ahead of us.  After years of hoping and praying, the day that felt like it would only ever be in my dreams, was finally here.  It was really real.  And when a dream comes true, and you are in awe of God changing hearts and moving mountains to bring you to a moment, there is little more to do than to pray and praise.  And so, we moved our conversation from our hotel room to the Catholic Church across the street.  Yes, in a land where so few have ANY belief system, God saw it fitting to place us in a hotel that just happened to be across from a Catholic Church.  And so we knelt in the back, as the faithful in the front, finished what must have been the rosary, and prayed.  We prayed our own silent prayers as our ears were filled with the melodious sound of a rhythmic prayer in Mandarin.

As we crossed the street to head b…